


misplaced fingers and displaced feelings

by poehnee



Category: Actor RPF, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-14 17:44:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20196202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poehnee/pseuds/poehnee
Summary: A collection of nonsequential drabbles and one-shots around Amy and Adam's relationship over the years.





	1. a parallel universe

“Babe, have you-“ Adam stopped, realizing what he just said. Sweat forming on his nape while Amy’s teasing smile slowly register.

“Did you just call me ‘babe’, Adam?” Her head is now tilted, signifying her amusement and anticipation for his answer. Is she blushing or is it the blush on? They both wonder, but Amy does not want to know.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I’m just-I’m just used to, you know, on the show.” He should not be struggling to answer a simple question, but like Ben Wyatt, Adam stuttered like he was in a talk show with a live audience. He should not be guilty for the Freudian slip, they were filming for 7 hours straight, 7 hours with Amy, 10 times he called her “babe” as Ben, 6 takes of kissing scenes, 6 times Amy’s tongue slipped into his mouth. Why the fuck does he share a body with Ben? Someone should invent a new way of acting where the body of the character you play will only be worn during filming and will be left on set the moment “cut” is yelled. Oh, with these past years, maybe feelings too.

He came back to reality when he heard Amy laugh, a soft laugh, not her usual cackle. Sometimes he thinks it might be reserved for him and their inside jokes shared through the years. He brushes the idea of Amy laughing softly over Kroll’s banters away.

“Hey, it’s okay!” Amy stepped closer and rubbed his shoulder. She felt how nervous he is and she knows his brain is about to shut down from millions of thoughts and maybe regrets. A knowledge gained through working and hanging out together even during the break.

“To make you feel better,” she bit her lower lip, failing to stop the following words, “Sometimes, at the end of a long day, I tend to forget that you’re not really my husband. You know, because of the show.” She almost forgot to say the last sentence, if she’s being honest.

It’s Adam’s turn to tilt his head and throw his teasing smile. Amy’s eyes rolled until she saw the other side of the universe, and before Adam even uttered a word, she managed to quickly say “So what were you supposed to ask me when you came?” as if what she said can just be thrown away. This may be what they teach you at improv, and she’s a natural. She’s always a natural.

“Oh no no, we’re not changing the topic, Amy.” Adam shook his head, he may be smiling but his eyes are piercing through her. There wasn’t enough time to calculate if this was the right place and moment to thoroughly talk about _this _and everything in between. The history they have together has become so overwhelming that they never looked back, or properly discussed it.

Amy cursed under her breath how her mouth is always faster than her brain. This conversation has been long overdue. She knows neither of them is ready, but to still prolong it might already be a sin. They were outside her trailer, the breeze now creeping through their skin. Adam was supposed to ask her if she already had dinner, the cast and crew were looking for her when the food was served.

“Adam, what we had and may still have,” she lowered her voice, aware of her surroundings. “It’s not right. It’s not safe. We both know that. Let’s just enjoy Leslie and Ben while we have them. This is hard for me too, you know?” That came out fast and concise, surprising them both.

She was having an internal debate if this conversation should happen inside her trailer. Oh, the two of them in a trailer alone seems to always end up in a haze, she thought. A public place is a safe place.

“At least you have Kroll now.” Out of all the sentences that he tried to form, this is the only one he was able to complete.

“And you’ve always been married.”

Under the moon, her eyes sparkle a different shade of blue. They share a smile, one that lifted the corner of their lips but not their eyes. Adam walked three steps towards her, etching in his brain again how small she is with just her sneakers on. He pulled her closer, and Amy let him. She settled under his chin, wrapping her arms around his waist. This is very familiar, it is unsettling how right and safe this feels. It is unsettling how right and safe this feels as them, as Amy and Adam, and not just as Leslie and Ben.

“Maybe in a parallel universe, babe.” He whispered in her short blonde hair with now growing roots, tightening his embrace.

“In a parallel universe.” She exhaled, savoring every tick of the clock. Accepting every was, is, and will.

In two different universe, they have their happy ending. And sometimes, it’s enough.


	2. bono

“Now you’ve kissed Bono. Is it a dream come true?”

Adam blinked twice, processing Amy’s words. She kissed Bono while she was sitting on his lap as a bit when she won for Golden Globes, but Adam was several tables away when it happened.

“I’ve never- I didn’t even have the chance to talk to him.”

“Oh my God, you’re so dumb.” Amy said while grabbing his coat, his hands automatically cupping her face. There was no prelude needed, they just shot three takes for a kissing scene. So when she opened her mouth the moment their lips touched, he happily welcomed her tongue. These are all a force of habit — rubbing his thumb on her cheek, her hand pulling him closer by the collar of his coat until sliding to its residence, his chest. All while his other hand settles on her waist, and hers remained still. It lasted a second longer than she intended it to be. Or maybe three, who knows?

“I’m basically fulfilling your U2 fanboy dreams, buddy. Do you get it now?” Amy said after breaking the kiss, face inches away from the now turning red Adam.

This has become normal for them. Habitual, maybe even a routine — a quick smack on the lips before going home after a whole day of filming, a quick but full hug as a good morning, endless teasing the whole day. This is normal, they would like to think, they are work proximity associates for four years now. Just friends who always hang out together but also fictionally married to each other.

This is totally normal and harmless that the cast and crew of their show didn’t mind and always lets them be whenever they are caught in action. There were teasings at first which now mellowed into sly smiles. Oh god, why do those smiles look like they know when the world is gonna end? But now, while they’re in the middle of the set surrounded by numerous staff, both Adam and Amy are oblivious of smirking faces. Maybe they always were. Maybe it’s true that this has been an open secret. Maybe it’s true that they subconsciously think that as long they’re on a set, everything is legal, all feelings are valid.

“I do, and thank you.” This time it was him who leaned in for one more lingering kiss, still wearing that certain smile and blush. That’s for his U2 fanboy self, and for his Poehler-the-Golden-Globe-winner fanboy heart.

“Now whenever we make out, I’m gonna be picturing you as Bono and it’s not my fault.” Adam said, waiting for Amy to cackle. She did not disappoint.

“I think this is the perfect time to tell you that whenever we make out for the past years, it is Megan Fox’s face that I see.” Amy tried to deadpan but failed. Her laughter echoed around the set and it was amplified by his own.

“Eeew, get a room!” Aubrey impassively said while passing by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, adam basically kissed bono through amy.


	3. beginning of the end

_“I love you and I like you._

_P.S. not going to miss you._

_♡, tv wife”_

Adam’s heart sunk and never returned to his body the moment he read Amy’s handwritten message on his copy of Yes Please. She personally gave the whole cast and crew copies of her book with heartfelt dedications today. The nine original cast, though, was invited to her house for dinner as one of the last get-togethers they can squeeze in before parting ways. Rashida and Rob made sure to not let the special occasion slip.

“I was supposed to draw a kiss monster on it but thought it might be too much.” He was startled when Amy suddenly appeared beside him, the white wine from the glass he’s holding almost spilled. When did she become so sneaky? He was about to reply but she already left to finalize the table setting.

Like Leslie, she ran around the set earlier today making sure that everyone got their rightful copies, scrutinizing each and everyone’s reactions while reading her handwritten dedications. Smiling whenever she’s satisfied with the response, her glassy eyes betraying her “I’m not going to cry today, I’m reserving it for our final week.”

Like Ben, after watching everyone be in awe of her, he just wants to tell her how amazing she is and that nothing that comes from her will ever be too much for him to handle. If only he could stock it all up so he could have remnants of her even when the show ends. _Where is this coming from, Adam?_

They could feel it ending — goodbye kisses last a little longer, hugs become tighter, teasings turn into reminiscing. If before they had apprehensions, lately they’ve been more showy and vocal. Just a few more months won’t hurt anyone, they thought. While the whole cast was being mushy and extra clingy with each other, they figured theirs would be understandable too. Their last few months to savor and grasp. After Parks, Adam will still come home to Naomi and Amy will still have Kroll, but them, they may never have these moments again. On set, they are Leslie and Ben. On set, whatever is between them is not a crime.

Rashida helped Amy served their dinner. It was solemn despite the waves of laughter and sincere despite the puns. Jim may or may not spilled some wine amidst laughter. After dinner, Amy gathered everyone in her living room to read the passages she wrote for each of them.

It was on when she wore her eyeglasses, and Retta started distributing Kleenex. Aubrey declined and firmly believed that a single tear won’t be shed from her tonight. No one reminded her of what she said when she was silently sobbing minutes later, only received comforting back rubs from Chris and Nick. Rashida embraced Amy for a solid two minutes (which was still not enough according to Amy) when her part was read, and everyone followed suit — standing up and hugging her whenever their part was over. But the pattern was abrupt when it was Adam’s turn.

_My favorite moments on set: Any time Leslie and Ben kiss._

Rob Lowe whistled a la Chris Traeger, still cheering for his favorite couple. They were all laughing but Adam can feel the heat on his cheeks creeping in.

“Ugh Adam, we can see you blushing!!” Aubrey, with her signature mocking face and tone said, which caused another fit of laughter. 

Adam had a witty comeback about how she was sobbing earlier but forgot about it when he saw that trademark Poehler smile. He waited for her to finish reading his part, letting their disgust of him driving barefoot slip away, before standing up and walking towards her. Should he kiss her? He didn’t even think about it, and Amy seems to be ready when he leaned for she was already preparing to tiptoe to catch his lips. She grabbed onto his arm for support and broke the kiss when somebody forced a cough.

“Hmm, definitely my favorite part.” She giggled like it was nothing. Adam was still blushing when he went back to his seat. Their audience was smiling through their interaction, aware of whatever it may be. They will miss this, too.

Aziz made a toast, thanking Amy for hosting the dinner and for the beautiful chapter she wrote about Parks. His voice was cracking when he talked about how they changed his life. Afterward, they’ve decided that the next dinner will be at Nick’s home.

A couple more hours of simultaneously reminiscing the past and planning the future — Nick, Retta, and Jim already went home because they carpooled together. Aubrey, Chris, Rob, and Aziz followed a few minutes later. Rashida begged Amy to let her help with the leftovers and dishes, both Amy and Leslie would never allow that. Rashida did wrap-up the leftovers though, while Adam sneakily put the dishes in the washer when Amy went to the whiz palace. 

“What a bummer, I really wanted to see the kids tonight!! I need to see them soon!!” Rashida said in the middle of their five minutes hug at her front door.

“I know! They miss you too, especially around the set. They’re home by Sunday, call me if you’re still free then.”

“I would love that, and I love you, Amy.” She squeezed her tighter when the latter replied with so much more intensity. “Sure you’re not coming, Adam? I can drop you off.” Rashida looked at Adam who had three glasses of wine.

“Oh no thank you, I brought my car and just need to sober up a little. You take care.”

Before leaving, Amy made sure Rashida knows how much she loves her for the 10th time that night. When Rashida told her to “be careful” with a wink while walking towards her car, Amy thought that it was the wine speaking and she shouldn’t let her drive. She assured her best friend that she is safe to do so.

Amy was reorganizing the stack of plates inside the dishwasher when she felt arms around her middle and a chin on her shoulder. Wow, she almost forgot that he’s still here.

“You’re really not going to miss me?” He smells like lemons...and possibility, she thought.

“What, your stupid face and dry sense of humor? Never!” A soft laugh, the sound he won’t be hearing every day anymore, filled her kitchen.

"Really? Not even this?" He turned her around before she can even answer and when she gasped, it was his lips that caught the sound. Her back hitting the sink, his hand automatically rubbing the discomfort away. It was chaste and lasting, and definitely not platonic. When she broke the kiss, slightly panting, he moved his hands from her waist to cover his face. 

"I'm- I'm so sorry," white wines and repressing feelings are a bad combination, he noted. The hesitation made him taste like loyalty and the vanilla ice cream from their dessert earlier. 

"Are you getting that kiss monster that I didn't put in my message?" This is her talent, trying to alleviate any situation. Even under the kitchen light, she glows brighter than the sun.

He smiled, the dorky smile he would give Leslie whenever she's behind the podium doing what she does best. She didn't want to but thinking about Adam giving that smile to his future new tv wife stings.

"Yes," he tilted his head and added, "and I think with how few our kissing scenes are this season, it's in our own hands to get all the kiss monsters before _this_ ends."

Her smirk turned into worry, biting her bottom lip, "And I think we should be mature enough to talk about _this_."

As if on cue, flashbacks of their years together flooded them. Laughing between takes, secret handshakes, working together even during the break to be with each other, late-night New York City walks, watching films in cinemas, joining her in improvs, _friendly_ dinner dates, sneaky trailer visits, strolling around Paris and San Francisco. How do we stop from here? How do we end something that never had a proper beginning?

He closed his eyes, his hand brushing his hair, the other was grabbing hers and lacing their fingers. Thinking hard and long, making sure to form the right sentences, praying for forgiveness for the wrong decisions, banishing the image of his wife and kids from his brain.

"I think we should make _this_ last," he opened his eyes and stared at her glassy blue eyes. "What we have is special, it will always be. Let's not take it for granted now that our clock is ticking. You may not do, but I'm really going to miss you. Is that okay?"

She has always been rational, so when her brain was giving her sensible thoughts and slideshow pictures of the people who will be affected by whatever comes next, she should know what to do. _But this is their last remaining months, and they won’t hurt anybody because it has an expiration date, right? Oh god, she hates his dreamboat face so much. Why does he smell like future and peppermint now?_

“It’s okay, and contrary to popular belief, I’m going to miss you too. Maybe even your butt. You’re right, we should not take _this_ for granted.”

When he leaned and their mouths meet, her hand flying to his nape while he was lifting her to the kitchen counter before settling between her legs — it’s the point of no return. This time there were no barriers, no other people, no internal debates, only them.

When she unbuttoned his polo and he felt her nipple through her shirt. When she moaned as he nips her neck while desperately removing her jeans. His guttural groan when she held him in her soft powerful hands as he cups her now free breasts. The blue in her eyes thinning as the black dominates. When she rolled her eyes along with her hips when he slid a finger inside her.

This is for what should have been and what should have not. For all the restraint feelings over the years. For every sex Leslie and Ben must have had. For every kiss Leslie and Ben won’t have. For the times they texted each other when the smallest of thing reminded them of the other. For the future times she will be on his tv, and he on hers, but there’s only hesitation and longing. For all the maybe’s and but’s, and in between. For them.

Helping both of them recover from high, foreheads touching, tucking a blonde hair behind her ear. He, in his faintest voice, whispered, 

“I love you and I like you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insp:  
1\. https://youtu.be/yFROuna7KwM
> 
> 2\. Adam Scott smells like... lemons and possibility. Future and peppermint. Loyalty and vanilla ice cream.
> 
> https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2kp7w0/im_amy_poehler_amaa/clnfn7v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
> 
> 3\. 1:33:25-1:34:27
> 
> https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/torontos-kooky-title-klay-goes-down-kds-future-interview/id1043699613?i=1000441471120


End file.
